


An Armor of Silk & Lace

by QueenieLacy



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Acceptance, Alcohol, Established Relationship, Homophobic Language, Lingerie, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Secret Coping Mechanisms, Secret kink, Self-Acceptance, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26019145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenieLacy/pseuds/QueenieLacy
Summary: Rafael planned a night of wining and dining. Instead, he discovered one of the methods that Sonny uses to cope with being a Manhattan SVU detective...only Sonny never wanted him to find out and especially not like this.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	An Armor of Silk & Lace

**Author's Note:**

> My first SVU fic. I’m honestly surprised it took me this long since I‘ve been watching SVU for Years. Please let me know what you think.

Rafael silently stepped off the elevator and started down the hallway toward his lover’s apartment. He shifted the brown paper bag in his right hand to his left so he could grab the key to said apartment from his pocket. The Manhattan ADA knew how hard this case had been on Sonny. Unlike his co-workers, Sonny found it difficult to compartmentalize and keep his emotions in check. He was too empathetic. It was a double-edge sword. Sonny used his empathy to crack scumbags and get a confession, but he could also take on the pain and suffering of the victims. That’s why he decided to surprise his confidant with takeout, wine, and sweets. He wanted Sonny to relax and forget the events of today if only for a night.

Rafael looked at the key in his hand as he arrived at the door and scoffed at it. Carisi should be living with him right now. He’d asked Sonny on a number of occasions to move in, but he always had some excuse. At first it was too early, and Rafael could admit that 3 months was a bit early to ask, but he couldn’t help it. That tall drink of water had Rafael wrapped around his finger. 

They passed the year mark, and then the 2 year mark so he asked again, but Sonny gave him another excuse. In a compromise of sorts, Sonny gave him a key to his apartment and Rafael gave Sonny a key to his. Sonny was always at his place, all the more reason for him to move in, so he knew something was wrong when he came home to a silent apartment. He hurriedly grabbed items at the store before rushing to Sonny’s place.

He quickly unlocked the door and pushed it open. He could hear the low murmur of the television as he closed and locked the door. Rafael made his way down the hall toward the living room. “Sonny, it’s me.” Rafael frowned when he didn’t get a response. Maybe Sonny left the tv on before heading out. Rafael turned and stepped into the living room, but what he saw made him freeze in the doorway and his mouth go dry.

* * *

Sonny sighed as he closed and locked his apartment door. He was just glad to be away from people. He felt absolutely drained after this tough case and just needed to get out of the station as fast as he could. He knew he should probably text Rafael. The other man would be worried when he came home and his place was silent and dark. Sonny practically lived there now, but he still kept his own apartment for days like this. Sonny had his own way of relaxing and he knew most people would find it weird. It’s what holds him back for moving in with his boyfriend. If Rafael saw this side of him, it would probably be the end of them. 

Sonny walked to his bedroom and into his en-suite bathroom. He decided to take a nice bath, using a pink and white bath bomb his sister got him for his birthday. He soaked in the hot water until his fingers started to prune. Sonny got out of the bath and moisturized his smooth skin. He felt his legs and they were still smooth, like the rest of his body, so no shaving was needed. He left his bathroom and walked back into his bedroom. Sonny went through his closet until he found what he was looking for. He took a few seconds before deciding which one to wear.

Sonny pulled a black babydoll set out of his closet. The babydoll had lace trim on the straps and the neckline, a bow in the center of the cleavage that could be undone, a ruffled flyaway front that allowed his torso to peek out, and a matching g-string. Sonny slipped the lingerie set on and almost immediately felt a little better. Sonny walked over to his floor mirror to admire himself in the set. It was the first time he’d ever worn this one and he really liked it. Maybe he would get this in another color.

Sonny discovered his love for lingerie when his sisters double dared him to put on one of their nightgowns. He couldn’t turn down a dare, for fear of being slapped around by them, so he paraded through the house in Bella’s silky blue nightgown with a plastic tiara on his head. He’s pretty sure there’s a photo or a video of the incident somewhere at his parents’ house. Sonny’s slight embarrassment didn’t stop him from enjoying the feeling and comfort of the nightgown. It was better than any male sleepwear he’d been in. 

He remembered the feeling and when he moved out and moved in to his own place, he bought his first lingerie piece. It was a simple white babydoll. It didn’t have anything in the way of fancy decorations or sexy plunging cuts, just a bit of lace along the bottom. It came with matching panties and Sonny decided to slip them on as well. He loved the way it felt on his skin, but it also had a psychological impact on him. Whenever Sonny put on the lingerie, he felt confident and just overall better about himself. Sonny would get a lot of flack from the SVU detectives. The comments, made in jest, still stung. Sonny was knocked down all day, only to be built back up during his relaxation time.

Sonny took a simple gold anklet and snapped it in place on his right ankle. He had gold bracelets that matched and slipped them on each wrist. “Okay Carisi, now you’re just showing off.” Sonny smirked at his reflection in the mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair and kept it gel-less. Lastly he took his cologne and sprayed it on his body. Once he was dressed, Sonny grabbed his phone and his headphones before leaving the bedroom. He made a stop in the kitchen to get himself a glass of wine before moving into his living room.

Sonny turned on the television and sipped on his wine as he flipped through the channels. He soon gave up on finding anything to watch and decided to listen to something on his phone. He put on his noise canceling headphones and grabbed his cell. He scrolled through it until he found the right playlist. The music started and Sonny shifted to get comfortable. He sat against the arm of the couch and brought his legs onto the couch, so he was sitting mermaid style. Sonny enjoyed the music, nodding his head gently to the beat as his hands slid up and down his legs. 

Everything was fine in his world until he felt a shiver go up his spine. All of a sudden, he felt like someone was watching him. That was ridiculous because his blinds were closed and he was on the fifteenth floor. There was no way he was being watched, but his mind wouldn’t listen to his reasoning. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He needed to calm his mind, then he could get back to his music. Sonny slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room, gasping when his eyes fell on Rafael.

“Raf, I-!” Sonny took off his headphones, tossing them on the coffee table along with his phone. He shot off of the couch and grabbed the blanket that laid across the couch. Sonny threw the blanket over his shoulders and wrapped the fabric around his body to hide the lingerie, but deep down he knew it was too late. Rafael had already seen him in the clothing. Sonny felt like his heart was going to pop out of his chest and he might vomit. He swallowed hard and took in a deep breath before speaking. 

“Rafael, listen, I-.” Sonny ran his fingers through his hair and looked away from his lover. “I-um-this-I.” Sonny found it hard to breathe and his chest started to get tight. He was close to hyperventilating, and possibly passing out.

Rafael moved into the living room, dropping the bag on the table before moving over to Sonny and cupping his face. “Sonny, mi cariño, breathe please.” Rafael pleaded with him. “Just breathe for me, that’s it, nice and steady.” Sonny had closed his eyes to better focus on his breathing. When they opened, Rafael felt his heart break at how watery they were.

“Rafael, please.” Sonny started. He was so afraid of losing Rafael. “Just let me explain. I-.” Sonny sniffled. “I’m still the same Sonny. I…”

Rafael quickly cut off his frantic explanation and shushed Sonny. He moved his hands from Sonny’s face to the blanket wrapped around him. “May I?” Rafael grabbed the blanket and Sonny silently nodded. Rafael pushed the blanket off of Sonny’s shoulders to reveal his form. 

He admired Sonny’s body in the lingerie, biting his lip as he reached out to touch at the flyaway fabric. He pushed it to the side and moved his hands to Sonny’s hips. “God Sonny.” Rafael breathed out. “I really want to pull that bow apart with my teeth.” He confessed, not actually meaning to say that out loud.

That made Sonny chuckle. “It’s a real bow, so you can if you really want to.” Sonny explained and Rafael let out a low moan.

“I planned on wining and dining you tonight but this is distracting me.” Rafael swallowed hard. He wanted to throw Sonny over his shoulder, like some caveman, and take him to bed, but they needed to talk first. Sometimes he wished he was less responsible. “Come here.” Rafael sat on the couch and patted his lap, knowing how Sonny loved to crawl onto his lap after a long day at work. Sonny couldn’t help his blush as he sat on Rafael’s lap in his current state of dress.

“Why have you been hiding these pretty things from me, mi cariño?”

Sonny looked down at his lap. “Because it’s not normal, men who wear women’s lingerie are weird.” Sonny explained. “No one would ever love me if they found out.”

Rafael felt his heart break for his love. It sounded like Sonny heard that before, as if he was repeating the statement from memory. While he wondered who exactly said that to his Sonny, he wasn’t sure if the younger man was ready to have that conversation tonight. “Oh, my Sonny.” Rafael placed his fingers under Sonny’s chin and made him tilt his head up so their eyes could meet. “There’s nothing wrong with you for liking these.” Rafael gently pulled at the silky material. 

“But it’s made for women.” Sonny mumbled. “It’s feminine.”

“So?” Rafael shrugged. “Wearing lingerie doesn’t make you less of a man. It’s just a preference, like choosing Coke over Pepsi. Anyone who’s ever judged you in the past can go to hell.” 

That made Sonny smile. “So...you’re okay with it?” Sonny asked, wanting a direct confirmation from his lover.

“I want you to be yourself, your true self, when you’re with me.” Rafael explained. “If your true self loves lingerie, then I love you in lingerie.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss Sonny. “I’m kind of upset you hid this from me. You look so sexy mi cariño, you’ve been holding out on me.” Rafael winked.

“Maybe you should punish me.” Sonny smirked and Rafael let out a growl before leaning in to kiss Sonny again, moving his lips to kiss along Sonny’s jaw and neck. His hands gripped Sonny’s hips and played with the strap of the g-string. He was about to move Sonny across his lap when he realized something. Rafael pulled back so he could look at Sonny’s face.

“Is this why you don’t want to live with me?” 

Sonny nodded, looking down at his lap. “I didn’t know how you’d react and I didn’t want you to find them while unpacking my things. I didn’t want to take that chance.”

Rafael nodded, finally understanding Sonny’s reluctance. “So, will you move in with me now?” He asked again and Sonny laughed.

“Yes, I’ll move in with you.” Sonny answered before standing up from Rafael’s lap. “Now, about that punishment counselor.” He winked and Rafael quickly got off the couch to follow Sonny.

“Oh yes, I know just the punishment for an offender like you.”

Sonny smirked as he grabbed Rafael’s tie to pull him toward the bedroom.

“Don’t go easy on me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sonny’s Lingerie inspired by this: https://www.adoreme.com/sexy-lingerie/babydolls/gherla-black
> 
> Queenielacy.tumblr.com


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